versacepromises:

there is so much unnecessary heterosexuality on tv

presidentgay:

me: *doesn’t start hw until 10 pm*

me: *at 10:15 pm* i am dROWNing in sCHOOL work why do teachers do this to me I hATE THis cruel WORLD look at all of THE iNJUSTICE 

"

… its too early for this bullshit.

"
- Me, no matter what time it is. (via lastisle)

Guy in my class: Sir, what if we had a gay P.E. teacher? That'd be bad because he'd be looking at all the guys in shorts.
Teacher: You're assuming that all gay teachers are pedophiles.
Guy: Well...yeah.
Teacher: Carl I absolutely promise you that NO ONE in this school wants to have sex with you

cara-phernelia:

"I got the answer right but then I changed it" -an autobiography

johnkatier:

dude god could come down from heaven with a million angels and tell me that gif is pronounced “jif” and i still wouldn’t fucking do it